jericajazz

Here we go this is a very touchy subject but it has been placed on my heart. How many people do you know.. let me rephrase this, “How many christian’s do you know” that judge people for their “so called” sins in their past? I know many people who have judged me without even getting to know me. I have a few friends that are doing great things for the Kingdom as well that are judged and ridiculed because of their past… But if im not mistaken im sure God has used past murderers, adulterers, thieves, and all type of sinners to help further His kingdom. Why Judge someone on their past if its their past? When God cleans our slate He cleans it and forgets the past. Why as christians must people still judge after Christ has forgiven and forgotten? I am so happy they arent the higher source but God is! I am in the middle of growing a Faith based Dance Company that God birthed in me years ago and im finally stepping out in faith to do what i love. Awaken is a Faith based dance company that vows to spread hope to the hopeless, help to the helpless, and love to the broken. Didnt God call all of us in Matt 28:19-20 with a great commission? He didnt just asked the pastors or the perfect ones who have it all together to go out and spread His love, He asked us ALL!
Im so happy that God is able to use me, flaws and all. A woman that sticks out in my mind is the adulteress women in the bible that the priests wanted to stone because she was caught in an adultery act. The only one that looked at her and looked past her sin was Christ. When Jesus drew the circle in the sand and asked the “The man who is without sin cast the first stone?” I believe He didnt only physically draw a protective circle around her but that he encircled her with love and forgiveness that she had not experienced by anyone before. He didnt judge her or hurt her, he LOVED her! he CARED for who she was instead of judging her right of bat. And not ONE man could throw a stone… we all are sinners and all have fallen short. So stop pointing out the speck in one persons eye when there is a plank in yours.
A man bound in flesh does not hold my future in his hand… God does. I never have to look at my past and say i cant reach people with Gods love because i am not perfect. God never asks us to be perfect He knows we are not. All He wants is for us to be willing and able because HE will help us in our weaknesses. Dont hate the messanger that is bringing forth Gods love and Word just because in your eyes, you havent forgiven them or you think they are sinners… WE HAVE ALL FALLEN SHORT! I have had people wrong me on many occasions, but i have forgiven, and i support them in all i can because at the end of the day why hate them? If they are lifting up the name of God help them! Why shun them away? It breaks my heart when people do that…They are bringing forth Gods word in a way they can. My way is through dance, i dont care if its working on set of a film, music videos, along side a choreographer, or in a musical… Or teaching ballroom, or even working in a church. No matter what i am doing i make sure i spread Christs love in ALL i do.
So check yourself… are you not supporting Christian artists in your area because you think they are sinners or your judging their past… Stop hating on the messenger! Love is the message so help spread it, dont put the flame out on them because God is using them in ways He isnt using you. We all have been called, We are one body, one voice, one sound. So lets help each other, not judge and tear them down. Love others the way God Loves… You will have a different look on life, because he LOVES ALL! not just the perfect but ALL.

Lets learn to love others like God loves.

Lets spread hope to the hopeless, help to the helpless, and love to the broken. Its as simple as that. 

Been gone for a very very long time… But i been working and writing a lot this past year. I have changed a lot i have seen many things and i have learned a lot. I have learned that your entire life can change in the blink of an eye, just from one look, one choice, one decision, one person. we all have ONE life and we need to realize that its not about what we have or where our destination may be… its all about this phenomenal journey we are on. I have made good decisions, and boy have i made some crazy bad ones too, but i am blessed for all of them! How will we ever learn how to handle tomorrow if we never dealt with anything today? So i tell myself.. Come What May. Because we will never have last year back, last season, last month, last week, yesterday, or even an hour ago. Just his past week i was watching old videos and looking through old pictures and realized even if i wanted to go back to where it all started, no one is there anymore. We need to be thankful for everyone who once were in our life, even if for a brief amount of time or still in it, they help make us who we are today. God has a unique way of painting this picture we call life. I can look back and be thankful for the soundtrack to my life God has been writing. It is a beautiful song. A beautiful sound. Instead of dwelling on what may have happened, What if, or what are “they” doing.. just say to yourself… everyday.. come what may. Because everyday is a new day to love, a new day to help a new soul out, lets ride this journey God has mapped out for us. I promise it is a ride worth while. Storm clouds may gather, and storms may come.. but remember God loves you and that He will get you through it all.. just remember Come What May… everyday. 

Internally Bleeding, where bleeding is occurring inside of the body… easy enough to understand right? When this is happening one can go without even knowing the damage it is doing to one’s body. Internally bleeding can potentially cause death or cardiac arrest. Now we ask ourselves how this occurs. Internally bleeding, something that can kill us without us even knowing. Well one of the main causes is a traumatic injury, a sudden shock or wound to the body like a car accident, punch, or concussion. This is the 6th leading cause of death. Another way is by a ruptured blood vessel due to high blood pressure. Blood pressure… that is another portion of this book we are going to have to deal with. Stress… anxiety… Poor diet… it all leads to high blood pressure, and without proper care it can lead to death. 

Internally Bleeding is a story of a girl that had some internally bleeding that caused many problems and a couple times she faced death head on. Although, in this story internally bleeding is not going to mean physically internally bleeding, it’s all mental. It is about the spiritual battle she went through, the fight that occurred in the inside without her even knowing. Jaela was a girl who had issues just like anyone else… but unlike the people around her, she never let anyone know what was going on. Because Jaele was suppose to be “miss perfect.” “Perfect Jaele, she never messes up, perfect in everything she does.” That’s what they all said. But on the other side, Jaela was dying. The suffering she dealt with was a battle she was dealing with alone in the dark. She was internally bleeding with no one knowing. This is the story of how easy a life can be destroyed by “Internally Bleeding.” 

This is a life changing, GOd breathed moment i am writing for all to see. I am letting go of things and people who are not right for me…. finally. I am finally who i know God created me to be, i am finally the woman I was called to be. and He is still working on me and still making me better everyday.

I have let go of all the ones that have tried to hurt me, the ones that tried to control me. I have learned that to Love someone in life to love others, i must first love myself, and i didnt. I hated myself because i measured myself to what people thought about me. I never looked in the mirror and liked what i saw, I looked in the mirror and i saw the lies of what everyone around me said i was, their speculations, slurs, and judgmental remarks… A Whore, A joke, Insane, A liar, a cheat,a Jezabel, a failure in life.. I looked at myself and hated what i looked like. i lost sight of what GOd knew i was. I lost who i was in Him because i let other people dictate who i was. I tried so hard to prove to people what i was and wasnt. And that killed even more because i had scars that were still open and still hurting, i never looked to God and asked what He saw in me i was too set on proving myself. WHen i thought i got better i saw myself still trying to prove myself. i remember trying to end my life. I wanted to leave the world of pain and heartache, I kept asking myself why things so bad would happen to me, why there could be no love in the world? I was so confused i knew God was real but i didnt feel any love, i let the enemy trap me in pain and hurt. i never saw GOD through it, my mind was in a haze and i let God slip through my fingers.But i NEVER SLIPPED THROUGH HIS! I went through the fire, not just the fire, but the heat was turned on high! Just like in Daniel ch 3 when Shadrach, meshach, and Abendnego were thrown in the firey furnace, and the king turned the heat up 7 more times, yet while they were in the fire… a 4th man arose, the Son of God, who never left them. even when they were in the fire, He was there. He stepped in the fire with them. I was in the fire before and yet even when i didnt see Him, God NEVER LEFT ME! When folks shut me off, when everyone else around me could only see the worse in me, God saw the best in me. He is Mine and i am His, it doesnt matter what i did or didnt do, He only sees me for who i am! WOW HE still saw the best in me when everyone, even church folk saw the worst in me, wanted to call me a Jezabel. BUT GOD! HE is MINE and I am HIS! He only sees me for who i am and who i am in Him is white as snow, i am VICTORIOUS I AM A CONQUEROR I AM THE HEAD AND NOT THE TAIL I AM ABOVE NOT BENEATH. He said that in Duet 28:13! It is the TRUTH! i DO NOT CARE ANYMORE! God has finally have helped me put it in the past like HE has. The pain the hurt, ITS GONE! I now want to help others dealing with what i have dealt with! They didnt know by hurting me, they only made me stronger! By hating they only elevated me!

Truth be told almost everyone i knew wrote me off and i wrote everyone off. I hated what life had ended up being, I was trapped from the inside out, I didnt see an open door anywhere. BUT GOD! that little conjunction.. BUT… So happy GOD saw me, right where i was, saw that my heart was always wanting Him i was just blinded by hurt and pain. He is the only person that knew my true intentions and knows my true intentions and heart.

Even when family and friends said i would amount to nothing, that i wouldnt make it, that i would fail,… GOD saw the strength in me, He saw me for who i am, He saw the Victory when i didnt. HA! I wanna preach!! My God, It doesnt matter what people said or didnt say, did or didnt do, they dont know what GOd placed in me YEARS ago i know what God promised me. My relationship with God doesnt include anyone else, but only me and God. Just like a single relationship is between 2 people not them and the whole world. Thats just how God wants us to be. He is a jealous God and wants it just Us and Him, its just me and Him. SO i never have to prove myself to anyone that im a good person, It is a relationship i have with GOd just me and GOd. 🙂

At the end of the day, NO ONE can judge me. NO ONE can bind me any longer, i am made free in GOD. I will admit it, it was hard to see that GOd could love me, that He didnt listen to what other people speculated about me. But that He knew me, He knew my heart and He has made me anew. I have had a supernatural encounter with GOd and i will NEVER be the same again! SO i know whoever God brings in my life from now on, from my friends to my future husband. I do not care what people think, my relationships are mine! they are relationships God will bring in my life, thats why i have cut off those things and those people who are not good for me, the more we excel the less room we have for haters, so I can only have those God wants in my life, the ones who will see the best in me like God does. Choices i make in my life, whether people approve or not, my decisions are made with prayer and i can only live by prayer i am lost without it. I dont know what tomorrow holds, as long as i am in His hands, that is all i care about. I know the prayers of the righteous unveleth much. My prayers will come to pass, His will is my plan.

I know My praise is going to confuse the enemy, hahaha, So everyday i am joyful again! i see the glass half full like i use to. I have had my share of highs and lows, especially those times when no one was around, but God was always there. I feel sorry for those who let there speculations of other people stop them from going deeper in Christ. they worry about the small issue one person has when they have huge ones. You love people, you look at the good in them, and i promise God will bring good to you. Stop JUDGING, YOU CAN KILL SOMEONE AND NOT EVEN KNOW IT! And their life will be on you! I know my life was nearly gone a couple times, But God saved me!

He is MINE and I am HIS, and i am BEAUTIFUL to God, He looks at me and loves me:) i find everything i need in Him. the reason He sees me for who i am is because He created me in His image and His likeness.. Yup thats me.

HE SAW THE BEST IN ME.

So since i have last updated a lot has happened in my life. Well one thing… My computer crashed and i lost EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING i was working on, my book, my scripts, everything… VANISHED!!! NOw i look back and i asked myself why that would have happened. Is there a reason behind a reason. I feel that maybe God was telling me something. Yes i was sad and upset about everything, but i know that there is always a reason to things happening. Well, for a month i stopped writing, thinking maybe it was a sign that im not a writer, But i couldnt stop. WHen i write it feels like i can get anything that has been accumulating in my crazy mind out. I can create worlds that dont even exist.. I cna be the creator of something that no one has even touched, seen, or read. So i am back writing, this time i am writing a script not based on two lovers, but the moment that changed my life… The moment i fell madly in lov with Jesus Christ. THat moment when He opened my eyes to see that it is because of Him i am who i am that because of HIm i made it through the fire and rain. He deserves all the praise and the glory and i want to spread that love to the ends of the earth! SO lets see what 2012 has in store for us, its going to be amazing!!!!

In the middle of writing this script i have become blocked. Blocked by reality, emotions, and fate. Where do i draw the line between what is real and what isnt. I know its just a script but im so involved in it i dont know where to go. I have her stuck waiting. Hoping he is out there searching for her, but not knowing. She is in stand still. The first half was both falling irrevocably in love with each other, to becoming apart of one another, to a desperation of each other. The yearning and longing of one another to survive. But when reality drives them apart, and lives are at stake. What does she do when he is no where to be found? WHere does she go when there is no one around? All she knows is what she once felt. It was the realist feeling she ever knew, the way he touched her, the way he made her feel like she was the reason of his existence, that them being together made everything worth while. Without him she felt as if she was going to die like part of her was hanging on by a thread and that one thread was what he held in his heart. not even knowing that he still remembered her. months and months went by and she found her self waiting still. So this is where i find her… I find her alone, helplessly in love with a man that is the unfailing love she feels everyday. The man that she sees when she closes her eyes, the man that once made her feel like she was everything and more. That feeling of love… what love is suppose to feel like. With people telling her that there are more than 9 billion people in the world and that he will never find her. SHe knows her man, and knows that his love is unfailing.ANd that it doesnt matter what oceans must part, what mountains are ahead, but that he will get to her, he will find her, and he will love her for ever. Because she knows the man she feels laying next to her that has been miles away is alive and is real and she will make it. SHe will be found. She will be loved, And they will be together. But where do i go from here? How do i write the ending? Is there really and ending to this story? WIll he find her? Will he? WIll he be the man she fell in love with, that strong man with arms that when they held her she knew she was as safe as anyone could ever be. She misses that but is it right around the corner and she not even know? Where do i go from here… what will happen to them…

Through the shake of an earthquake her love will never fall, through the deepest of waters she will not let him drown, like a ship in a storm i will keep him strong. Thats how strong my love is.

we are all made great.

But just like Marianne Williamson said, “our deepest fear isnt that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.”

I have been sitting back lately and wondering what “greatness” God has placed in me. What light did he create just for Jerica to let shine? I have been pondering more and more on what it is that exactly means. And at the end of the day i have realized i have had fear of the greatness God instilled in me. that was my deepest fear and i have never even realized it. we are all born great we all have greatness thrust upon us, it is for us to find it and make manifest of that greatness. God gives us the abilities and talents to search for it, we have to create it to become alive! I am slowly finding that greatness piece by piece. God has been strengthening me to overcome that fear that was once placed over my life. The fear of never trying my hardest to find the light, of feeling secure in the mediocre lifestyle, or of never living each day to the fullest.

Never measure your greatness against another, because YOU are powerful beyond measure! You were born to shine! You just have to let it out and shout to the mountain tops! You can dream it and achieve it!

ITS YOUR LIFE TAKE IT BY THE HORNS AND LIVE IT OUT LOUD! BE YOU! BE WHO YOU WERE CREATED BY GOD TO BE!!